The Debunkering Post

I have changed this post from "Christmas Carol Debunking" to "The Debunkering Post" I yam now spreading out to different things to debunkery! Unt now!
"A Christmas Poem" by Sam P.

Twas the night before finals, and all through the school,
Every student was groaning ('Cuz finals aren't cool),
Every person was huddled, together for warmth, (not me! i'm warm in my own happy place!)
Even some teachers, though they wouldn't come forth,

My Friend had the sheet and one other was reviewing,
We were hoping for snow, though none would be spewing,
The couds up aboce, were as snow-free as ever,
Not even a flurry, not even a feather, (not a flake, nor a rake!)

When all of a sudden, there arose such a noise,
I jumped in my place and landed on boys, (ouch...?)
All around me I looked, my face in the air, (and not on the ground?)
Till i found the source: it w as right there.

The bell, in it's place on the building up high,
Had rung, my eyes rolling and sighed, (your eyes can ROLL?!?!)
When, what to my wondering brain should occur, (my brain is ALWAYS wondering...)
All the teachers were cheering, school was over! (which is amazing considering school aint over until you finish ur finals)

With a glance to the sky, white flurries were falling, (hahaha! it's God's dandruff!! (no offence God))
I heard in the distance, hot chocolate was calling, (driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!)
I opened my mouth, to catch a flake, (catch da dandruff!!)
When some one was calling me, awake, awake!

"Sam Petric! Sam Petrc! Wake up this instant!
You've slept through the finals! I'm quite hesitant, (eh.. if it was me.. i'd be failed)
To fail you my dear, as i should. I'm apalled! (reaaaaaaally...? you didn't notice the fact that there was one person SNORING?!)
Now go study! Go away! Go away all!" (i thot you were the only one there?)

Shlumped in the halls, I sat and i mourned, (what have you got against slumping?? why must you shlump?!?! what's wrong with slumping?!?!?!)
My grade was dead. I need Queen Susan's horn, (i don't think queen susan can help much with grades)
Extra credit won't help, i know that much,
Finals were my whole grade, i had a hunch. (it's not)

and then, in a moment, i had an idea, (what idea?)
i ran right outside, to find my ride home, (kinda anticlimatic)
as i came to the car, it started to snow, (again...?)
again white flakes fell from the sky, (DANDRUFF!!!!)

again i thought, really?? (yeah... cuz it's not supposed to snow)
and i realized, i'm dreaming. i don't know why (hate 2 burst ur bubble.. but u never realize ur dreaming in a dream)
why else it ould snow, in texas of places,
we never get snow, not like this, on our faces (it does too! it snowed yesterday!)

i pinched myself: how it hurt! Slapping: hurt very! (uh.....duh?)
When i finished, my arm looked just like a cherry! (and not a strawberry??)
i cried to the skies, why me?? why? (because)
and the answer came clear, and i started to cry (whas the anser?)

i sat on the frost covered ground, not caring, (what about the people in ur car?)
whether i got cold or not, it wasn't worth sharing, (who's sharing/caring? HAH i can rhyme too!)
why i had fallen asleep in the test
i had studied all night, wanting the best (which is PROBABLY why you fell asleep)

but for me no one else that's why sleep came
like a thief in the night, stealing my fame (u hav fame?)
i wasn't well withing no " hope you do good!"
i had taken the chance as quick as i could

to get ahead whether i should've or not
ut's no one's to judge whether i did right or wrong
the clock in the hall chimed with a BONG!
it started to snow, i WAS dreaming, all along! (again, you realize your in a dream and then you realize your in a dream again, and then you realize your in a poem?)

i woke up in my bed all wrapped up and warm
i prayed everyone would not cause any harm (ham to what?)
as i looked at the ca;amder, i noticed, with surprise
it was over, all over, i'd passed! all right! (and you didn't take the finals??)

ok..... i couldn't find too many problems..... she's a pretty good writer (and yes i got her permission to do this)
and i got sloppy at the end becauuse i had to type alll of this by hand.... if anyone knows how to copy and pace something now would be a good time to tell me because whatever i do DOESN'T WORK

invisi out!

Christmas Carol debunking

yes... I am aware that Christmas is already over... Do I care? Eh... No.
and now.... "The Christmas Song" aka "Chestnuts Roasting Over an Open Fire" yeesh! Christmas Carols have alternate identities too...



Chestnuts roasting over an open fire, open fires are dangerous... right?
Jack Frost nipping at your nose, i like my nose perfectly un-nipped thank you very much!
Yuletide carols sung by a fire, again... fire is dangerous... "fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-burning!!! aaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"

And folks dressed up like Eskimos. aaaaahh!! scary-singing-on-fire-eskimos!!!

Everybody knows a Turkey and some mistletoe, yes... we all know some turkeys... uncle roger... jk
Help to make the season bright,
Tiny tots with there eyes all aglow, that's fire's fault

Will find it hard to sleep tonight. why... are they worried that mister stalker santa will be coming for them??

They know that Santa's on his way, see! my question is answered!

He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh, is this lingo for happy-making things? (hint-hint)

And every child's mother is going to spy, gasp! ... our mothers are SPIES?!?!?!?

To see if reindeer really know how to fly, they don't... if they did, they would, but they don't, so they don't

So I'm offering a simple phrase,
To kids from 1 to 92, so my great-grandma isn't included?!?!?!?! She's 95!!! *sniff* I'm sorry grammy!
Although it's been said, many times, many ways,
Merry Christmas to you!

it is a siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiign!!!!

It's definitely a sign of the times when what you get for Christmas consists of:

1 hair straightener (actually i don't mind this one one bit)
2 portable desks
1 journal
1 gift certificate to B&N
1 ornament
2 bible puzzle books
2 t-shirts
1 pair of boots

actually... i didn't do so bad... I YAM REAPING IN DA REWARDS!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAHHAA *maniacal laugh*

Christmas Carol debunking

same old same old: Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer!
(couldn't wait to do this one)
problems: honestly, i love this song...... but... (receiving evil eye from certain people) ok, ok... i'll poke at it's problems!

Problems (again) : should i just post all of the lyrics here? really..... grandma gets murdered by santa and his serial killer reindeer, grandma was drunk and left her medicine at home, leaves to go get it, grandpa doesn't seem to care that she was killed, he's watching football and drinking, and playing cards. so um... yeah... no problems here... (are you HAPPY?)

Lyrics of truth: "they should never give a license to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves"

http://rlv.zcache.com/wanted_santa_claus_poster-p228977725850524824t5ta_400.jpg

its the truuuuuuuuuuuuth!!!!! if you want to read what it says go to:

http://www.zazzle.com/wanted_santa_claus_poster-228977725850524824

Christmas Carol debunking

More of the good stuff!
Today: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas
ok so this isn't technically a carol.... but it's still fun to debunk!!

"twas the night before christmas, when all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse" (of course... this is only assuming that every american home has a mouse sitting in it waiting for santa claus.)
"the children were nestled snug in their beds,
while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads" (someone enlighten me... what are sugar plums... and can they dance?)
"mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap" (uh... no.... a couple more questions... 1. who wears kerchiefs and caps to bed any more? and 2. do you really think that your kids are going to let you sleep in on CHRISTMAS?!?!?!?!)
"when what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer" (santa's teeny?!?!?!?!)
"down the chimney st. nicholas came with a bound" (hmmm.... so he's tiny, fat, and is now entering people's property without their permission.... yeah.... this santa dude's real nice...)
"with a sleigh full of toys and st.nicholas too" (how do the toys fit? i thought he had a miniature sleigh?)
"he was all dressed in fur, from his head to his foot,"

then

"and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack" (wait.... he's completely in fur... but now HE'S A PEDDLER?! isn't fur reeeeeaaaaly expensive?)


but people.... this is the absolute worst....

"and the stump of a PIPE he held tight in his teeth,
and the SMOKE it encircled his head like a wreath" (PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?! NOW SANTA SMOKES!!!!! JEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!! WHAT KINDA ROLE MODEL IS HE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!)

this has been christmas carol debunking with invisigirl... bye!

Nervous breakdowns are interesting to watch

the title should say it all

HaiQ

w....o...w
this is really good!! posted by my friend sam p!

darn.. never mind... it wouldn't let me copy or paste the story just go to sam's blog and read "my christmas poem"

how do you....?

how do you maketh your blogeth more interesting? i'm experimenting and i don't really know how. i.e. layouts ratings gadgets that actually work...

Christmas Carol debunking

hi! this is the official christmas carol debunking post! send your christmas carols here! i'll try to find some problem with them!
today: rudolph the red nosed reindeer
problem: wow what fickle reindeer!.... i mean really..... "and then how the reindeer loved him" it sounds like some kind of popularity contest... get chosen by santa... sudenly you're a celbrity! i mean honestly people... is this what you tell little kids?!?!?! that if the big man decides he wants you, everyone will love you? think up of some new songs that are more kid appropriate!!!

HaiQ

I'm adding a new part to my blog the HaiQ corner... its pronounced haiku! i post poems! send me yours!

par-tay

HaH! I went to a party last night and they're were a bunch of little kids... all of which were almost definately up past their bedtime. How did I know this? Well i kinda got the hint when a 5 year old ran past me screaming "Suuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got suuuuuugggggggggaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

tah-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!

me is invisigirl.... i am trying to figure out this blog... help would be nice... this is the first time i've ever posted or used a blog... and since i am technologikly not very good..... i will be having problems!!! yay! byby