My Dad, Elmer Fudd

Today, my dad told me: "Hey! Let me show you something!" Seeing as how I had just gotten into an argument with him, I apprehensively followed him into our backyard. As we're walking, I see something in the grass, and I say: "Woah... that's kinda gross" my Dad asks "Huh?" and looks down. On the ground there's a bunny carcass, all bloody and dead and lying there.

Me: Did you run over it with your lawn mower?
(He had been mowing previously)
Dad: Apparently... AW! I DIDN'T KNOW I DID THAT! I didn't mean for you to see that! Aw! I must've run over it! *depressed look* the poor bunny... But here! (brightens up) This is their nest!

By now, I'm worried, maybe they're more dead bunnies. I lean over and look into the hole where he was pointing, see something furry, and walk away. I thought he had run over the whole nest of them, which I later learned, he hadn't.

Later...

Me: Mom!
Mom: Yeeees?
(by the way my mom had just cleaned out the refrigerator, and our aunt and uncle had dropped by for a visit)
Me: Have you seen my chocolate bunny?
Mom: Uh, no...
Me: Aw... It was good chocolate, and I can't find it! It melts at outside temperature, so I have to keep it in the refrigerator! I wrapped it in saran wrap and put it waaaay in the back behind the yogurt so no one would find it and put it in the meat bin again!

(To make a long story short, every time I put my chocolate in the refrigerator to keep cold, someone puts it in the meat bin! I don't know why, but they do! The last time they did it, they left it on a bunch of pepperoni and ribs, so when I ate the meat-chocolate, it smelled and tasted like pepperoni! Not all the way through, but enough so you taste it when you eat it... It was disgusting.)

Mom:. ....it wouldn't happen to be wedge shaped, would it?
Me: MOM!
Mom: Uh oh...

Later on, I learned that she accidentally threw it away because she couldn't figure out what it was, and she thought that it was really really really old, because it was in the back of our refrigerator. So much for hiding my solid chocolate bunny from the meat bin.

(Dad walks in)

Me: DAD!!! Mom threw away my chocolate bunny!
Dad: Don't TALK to me about bunnies!

(walks into his bedroom to go take a shower)

Uncle (who had been enlightened to what happened with the lawn mower): Probably just going to go get that bunny blood washed off of him...

At one point my Uncle called my dad Elmer Fudd, and said: Shh.... be vewy vewy quiet! I'm hunting WABBITS!

And so my Dad was the butt of our jokes for pretty much the whole day. At one point my brother put on one of those clown noses and started to juggle Easter Eggs, but that's another story...

Much much later,

We had just gotten home from dinner with my aunt and uncle, and we're standing around in our driveway talking to them. At one point I go:

Me: Dad, you have some red stuff on the back of your t-shirt.
Uncle: It must be bunny blood!
Brother (goes around and inspects the back of my dad's t-shirt): It is bunny blood!
Dad: I'm a bunny murderer, I'll never live it down (insert pout here)
Aunt: You'll be standing at the pearly gates and you'll look down and, (makes rabbit impersonation), it'll be waiting for you, staring...
Me: YEAH! It and all the caterpillars! (for those of you who do not know, look two posts down.)
Uncle: No, what'll happen is, St. Peter will lean down and ask them, THAT'S the one? You're going to caterpillar hell young man!

This continues for a while until:

Dad: I'm going to go get the bunny blood off of my t-shirt.
Uncle: Good-bye Elmer Fudd!